strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
