there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
