I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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