On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
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there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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