i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
