man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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