OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
