my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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