it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
