Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
