Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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