areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She said her name was "party"
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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