wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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