Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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