You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's blow job season.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
