Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
