God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
