yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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