I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
