The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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