Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
