I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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