My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Someone came in the potted fern
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
