eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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