Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
