Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
