am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i think my cat just said my name.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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