It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
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she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
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A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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