he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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