Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize