who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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