and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
