i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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