carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
