easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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