you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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