Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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