Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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