I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so let's talk penis.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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