if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize