i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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