and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
