my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
