Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
