Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
