yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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