get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
