my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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