We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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