Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
