yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
