She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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