i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
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She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
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I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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