Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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