McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
