he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
be right there i have to get my cape
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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