Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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