you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
