booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
