That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
