I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize