There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
