They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
